How do you spell Cheater? K-e-l-v-i-n S-a-m-p-s-o-n

Today, Kelvin Sampson addressed the NCAA with a written response regarding the sanctions that were brought on Indiana University during his short-lived stay as head coach. Indiana's response suggested that it's "reasonable to conclude" that Sampson repeatedly misled NCAA investigators. In other words, you're a liar!

Click here to read Sampson's letter to the NCAA.

Here is the response I'd like to send to Mr. Sampson:

Dear Kelvin,

Are you f!#king kidding me? Your job was to make sure everyone, yourself included, was behaving by the rules. The compliance office is only there to say "gotcha" when you've screwed up. Way to throw everyone under the bus and take zero responsibility for what happened. Not to mention, you turned our team into a bunch of thugs who didn't go to class, meaning we are now 10th out of 11 in Big Ten men's basketball for conference academics.

You're making Coach Knight look like The Pope! I'll take physical harassment and throwing potted plants at secretaries all day long! Even Mike Davis looks like a candidate for Coach of the Year. It kind of makes me miss his over-arched eyebrows and his famous "who farted?" look.

What I don't miss, however, is you and your arrogance. I also don't miss your blue shirt with the red tie. I'm glad I didn't buy a "Sampsonite" t-shirt. I heard TIS won't even send the leftovers to third world countries.

Your big coup was Eric Gordon. So maybe he was extremely talented and if it wasn't for his wrist and your departure, could have been a big college star. Well, I'd like to get Bruce Weber on the phone and see what he thinks. I'm sure you cheated for Eric Gordon too.

Coach Sampson, can you hear me now? You're where you belong now - in the NBA. I love professional basketball, but it is what it is. Cheaters like you belong there, and I'm sure you'll be busted for another infraction at some point. Once at Oklahoma, once at Indiana ... you should probably have a cheating intervention. Hey Coach - Eric Gordon just called. He wants his college career back.

"My life since that day has been a nightmare." Cue Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me a River". Have you stopped to think about how this has impacted the young men that played for you? No? I'm sure you were too busy placing illegal phone calls and following around Greg Popovich. Have fun in Milwaukee! There are plenty of disgruntled Hoosier fans up there.

Oh, and I went to your website. It pointed me to Myles Brand's website? You may want to look into that, or consult with Pete Carroll on how to be a complete tool bag.

So yes, Indiana should share in the blame of this fiasco. But you should too. While I hate what you did to Hoosier basketball during your short time there, it has led us to Tom Crean, who is already better than you because he's not dirty. He didn't bring FedEx planes full of baggage to our program like you did. His wife is hotter than yours. Taking over after Mike Davis should have been too easy. Taking over after you is a piece of cake.

You represent everything that is wrong with college basketball, and while you aren't the only one, your legacy at Indiana will follow you everywhere you go, even in the NBA. You know basketball, but you have no morals, so the NBA is happy to have you. I'm looking forward to seeing you when the Bucks play at Memphis next season!

Sincerely,

Bridget